Under Construction!

Hi, you guys! The site is going to be under construction for a few days, so that unfortunately meens no new posts! The site also may look a little strange from time to time! Sorry for the inconvenience! To pass the time you can go to Fredwards Blog at HERE!

The Store

Click here to visit my store! It has all sorts of cool stuff! Anyway, on to todays post... Today I was at the supermarket when I realized something. I wasn't wearing any pants! "...crap..." I jumped behing a display of video cameras... video cameras that were apparently security cameras! I don't really know why but some police were chasing me within minutes. I dove into a pile of spilled packing peanuts. Call me crazy but I heard a cop fire his gun! There was some sort of explosion and the next thing I new I was running down main street, in my underwear, being chased by a pack of mad police men! Then I remembered somewhere nearby that I could hide! The school! I really have no idea what they were doing having a football practice on Sunday! So now I had a full team of football maniacs, two police, and my gym teacher running after me, just because I wasn't wearing any pants! Oh crap, I have to go you guys. I'll tell you how it turned out later! Bye!

New Picture

I just got a new picture taken. Here it is!


I look sorta like a dog!

That was my post today guys... Actually I'll do some more stuff! Ok you guys, the game got delayed because Freddy was camping but now we are back on it! If you want a completely free link to your blog just contact me! You can leave a comment or something. Also I'm starting a merchandise store that should be up by tomorrow! You guys can buy shirts with me on them!

Translation

Today my parents gave me an i-pod touch! Unfortunately the English instructions were missing so I had to use the Chinese ones. I had some trouble translating it but I think i got it pretty good! Here it is!

1. Remove from container with left side above!
2. Make sure you are two persons when you do dance!
3. Don't throw cow before fat guy!
4. If nose is crab burn thoroughly!
5. You are done, have fun with your news blender!

After I threw the cow I decided to just give the i-pod to that homeless guy who lives down the street... He's the only guy who could even understand the instructions. This is Billy Lukas signing out. Don't roast the html for an hour!

Life

I just entered blog into that "how much is you blog worth?" thing and it came up with... "Your blog is worth 0.00 dollars! Good job, your on your way up!"... ... ... 0.00 dollars. Wow... Anyway, on to my post. My days at school have slightly changed since earlier in the year, so here is how they usually go...

1. I arrive at school 20 minutes early.
2. Some kid call me "grandpa" and the teachers try to escort me to the home.
3. I go to the daily "hip moms" meeting.
4. I find out that I am not a hip mom, (I always forget.)
5. I arrive at school just in time for... lunch.
6. People call me "lunch lady boy" while throwing small animals at me.
7. I pull squirrels out of various uncomfortable places... like... my nose...
8. I am rushed to the hospital where the doctor says,"congratulations young lady, your pregnant!"
9. Uh oh.

Yeah, so that's how my days are going. Once again, if you want to advertise for free on this blog, just email me here!

Bully and Fire Drill

Today I got attacked by the class bully! Heres how it happened... I was walking down the hall when I noticed something... there was nobody around then I noticed something. There was someone hiding behind a pencil. That was when this huge fat kid emerged from behind it! He walked over to me and he looked really angry! I decided that the best way out of this was logic. He said, "I'm gonna kill you Billy the... uhhh... backscratcher!" I said, "If x is three and y is x squrared then xy would be 27!" He then beet me to a pulp and then he dumped water on my pants. At the time I had no idea why he would do that but when I was up in the front of math class doing my special dance I realized everyone was laughing harder than usual. Then my teacher pointed out, "HA HA IT LOOKS LIKE BILLY WET HIS PANTS!" That was when the fire allarm went off! "Everyone run for you lives!" the teacher yelled. So they decided it would be more fun if they broke the door down! We had an organised vote on who we break it with and guess who won! I guess the kids didn't know that there was a blazing fire through there but they launched me through and into the flames! And then... and then... and then... I woke up and went to school.

Dodgeball

Today we played dodgeball in gym class. At first it was like any other game but then then Coach Bradley decided to go on a date with his girl friend. That was when three senior citezens came out from behind the bleachers! They picked up some dodgeballs and started playing. It was hard since I the old people kept on throwing other kids at me... Um... that's actually all that happened today... except I still have most of a post to do... Um... I guess I'd like to remind you all about the enviromental issues the world is going through right now and... bye...

Senior Citizen Appreciation Day... Again?

Apparently the seniors bus broke down and they had to stay at the school over night. So the teachers decided to just take the day off while the seniors did the classes. In my first class the guy talked to us about how he remembered history...

Abe Linkoln... what a man. Oh I remember when we started colonizing this here country. Har har har har, back when I was 70. The fun me and Benny Franklin used to have... Playing with those kites... and plastic explosives... Those were the days...

Yeah, then when I was supposed to be having math, some guy talked about speaking Spanish. Eventually when somebody informed him that we were in math class he just said, "well duhhhhhhhh!" Then he kept on saying that, "duhhhhhhhhh duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh duhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
That was one of the best classes of my life. Hopefully they will find a way to get the seniors home. Until then, see ya!

Senior Citizen Appreciation Day

Today was Senior Citizen Appreciation Day at school. They had some old people come in and give us speeches. Then they matched us up with a senior and let us socialize for about an hour. The guy I got paired up with was pretty cool... except he kept on telling this story over and over again with slightly different details. I'll go ahead and write down my favorite version. Here it is,

So there I was, on top of Mount Saint Helens, Battling the army of zombie warlords. The lava was everywhere. I pulled out the ol' electric guitar and started jamming. Me and Jimmy Hendrix were all over the place. That was when George Washington showed up. He pulled out his guitar and we destroyed the enemy army with our sweet riffs! That was how I got this scar on my nose! When I get mad it sorta looks like...

We don't need to go any further... Anyway, I didn't really want to tell the guy that the teachers had told me that he was really a crazy old man so I didn't. After school it was fun. Some kids grandpa was telling all of his embarassing storys in the audotorium. Ha ha, after that I'll be suprised if he comes back to school!

Cats and The Game

Today I was playing with my cat. I threw the flaming chainsaw, and tiger would try to dodge it. We have so much fun together! Sometimes we play cat-apult or cat-tastrophe or sometimes we just play chainsaw wars. I love cats so much! Especially the blue ones...

I would also like to be the first to announce the game me and Freddy are working on. It has me and him and school and cats and all sorts of other stuff. We'll be done in about a month. I think it's pretty amazing that I Iearned how to program games in just a month. Gee Wizz, I'm so cool. Ahh man, my pocket protector just caught on fire... again!

Ow, that was hot. I haven't taken off my pocket protector for three years now and I think those guys who got stuck inside must have started a fire... They're in a better place now. Lets take a moment of silence... ... ... OKAY better now! I'll see all of y'all foos tomorrow!

Social Skills

I've never been to good at conversing with the female types, but today was the worst. This one popular girl actually came up and said, "hi Billy, whats up." I said, "yes I'll pass the salt." "YES I'LL PASS THE SALT!" "YES I'LL PASS THE SAAAALT!" That was when a teacher showed up and expelled me. Well, that wasn't my worst social blunder... or my worst social blender... Last year when I was going to that small school the teacher told me to go up in front of the class, so I did. He said, "Billy, can you tell the class what Christopher Columbus did for us?" "Um...he...well actually nobody really knows... so that's why he's often compared with... Bigfoot..." Yeah, that pretty dang embarrassing. I'll talk to y'all later!

1000 Blog Views and IMVU

Well, I promised an extra long post and a picture so here they are. Thanks for the views!



It's me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so earlier me and Fredward were playing IMVU when we found this modding program called ILLEGAL MODEL MODDER 2.1. We went ahead and got it and boy was it awesome! First we used this thing which gave us 2,000,000 dollars. I spent it on a fingernail trimmer that was worth two dollars. I'll have to say, that poor sap who traded it to us didn't know what he was missing. I guess that's just how those black market guys are. After that Freddy used the modder to get us into the VIP restrooms. I spent 3 hours flushing all the different toilets. There were like... 4! That was when Fred spent our last 200 dollars on 1 fake dollar. Can you believe it! A whole fake dollar! Fredward is almost as smart a barganer as me! After that we decided to change our images! I dressed up as a toothbrush and Fredward dressed up as a tube sock. I ran around yelling, "BRUSH YOUR TEETH KIDS!" I am so coo! After that I left Fred to scarring the kids and went into this bar. For some freaking reason everyone kept on thinkin I was some kind of a toaster. "You look like a toaster dude" and, "YLLATD" was all I was hearing for about an hour... I decided to return to Fredward. We decided it was time to battle the army of the dead... with cheese! I started the quest and we went into battle mode. I was armed with a battle axe and Fredward was armed with... motserella! It was epic. We were all over the place with lip gloss flying everywhere. We were doing good until I tripped and flew off The Cliff of Death! It was all over when I hit the ground and... broke a nail! The modder started to glitch up and it made my characters ears all big... I was still a toothbrush too... It won't even go back to normal... I'm sad...

Well there was my extra long post, I hope you liked it. I'll do something like this again at view 10,000. Bye!

Lunch

I know it sounds sorta boring but I'm gonna write this post about lunch. It started normal... I sit down at an empty table and mumble stuff that might make me sound cool, "mumble mumble FOOTBALL mumble mumble HATE SOCCER mumble mumble GIRAFFE mumble mumble BILLY'S DUMB mumble mumble. Then some of the nerds came and sat with me. Then the weird thing happened; One of them actually talked to me. He says, "pass the salt Lukas!" Then he went back to his Mom who says, "here comes the train POOKINS." Then she pries open his jaws and shoves the spoon in. After that he said, "HA, HA everyone on board will soon die as they pass through my Intestines!" Then his Mom says, "you better clear the tunnel since here comes an air plane!" Then she shoved the whole plate into the nerds mouth. While spitting out broken teeth he says, "GLARGOL
CH-OOO-KING!" Ha ha what a kidder... So then all the nerds left since I was too weird and I was once again left to mumbling cool stuff... mumble mumble CARDIOVASCULAR SURGERY mumble mumble IMVU mumble mumble FISH mumble mumble!