Life

I just entered blog into that "how much is you blog worth?" thing and it came up with... "Your blog is worth 0.00 dollars! Good job, your on your way up!"... ... ... 0.00 dollars. Wow... Anyway, on to my post. My days at school have slightly changed since earlier in the year, so here is how they usually go...

1. I arrive at school 20 minutes early.
2. Some kid call me "grandpa" and the teachers try to escort me to the home.
3. I go to the daily "hip moms" meeting.
4. I find out that I am not a hip mom, (I always forget.)
5. I arrive at school just in time for... lunch.
6. People call me "lunch lady boy" while throwing small animals at me.
7. I pull squirrels out of various uncomfortable places... like... my nose...
8. I am rushed to the hospital where the doctor says,"congratulations young lady, your pregnant!"
9. Uh oh.

Yeah, so that's how my days are going. Once again, if you want to advertise for free on this blog, just email me here!

Social Skills

I've never been to good at conversing with the female types, but today was the worst. This one popular girl actually came up and said, "hi Billy, whats up." I said, "yes I'll pass the salt." "YES I'LL PASS THE SALT!" "YES I'LL PASS THE SAAAALT!" That was when a teacher showed up and expelled me. Well, that wasn't my worst social blunder... or my worst social blender... Last year when I was going to that small school the teacher told me to go up in front of the class, so I did. He said, "Billy, can you tell the class what Christopher Columbus did for us?" "Um...he...well actually nobody really knows... so that's why he's often compared with... Bigfoot..." Yeah, that pretty dang embarrassing. I'll talk to y'all later!

Lunch

I know it sounds sorta boring but I'm gonna write this post about lunch. It started normal... I sit down at an empty table and mumble stuff that might make me sound cool, "mumble mumble FOOTBALL mumble mumble HATE SOCCER mumble mumble GIRAFFE mumble mumble BILLY'S DUMB mumble mumble. Then some of the nerds came and sat with me. Then the weird thing happened; One of them actually talked to me. He says, "pass the salt Lukas!" Then he went back to his Mom who says, "here comes the train POOKINS." Then she pries open his jaws and shoves the spoon in. After that he said, "HA, HA everyone on board will soon die as they pass through my Intestines!" Then his Mom says, "you better clear the tunnel since here comes an air plane!" Then she shoved the whole plate into the nerds mouth. While spitting out broken teeth he says, "GLARGOL
CH-OOO-KING!" Ha ha what a kidder... So then all the nerds left since I was too weird and I was once again left to mumbling cool stuff... mumble mumble CARDIOVASCULAR SURGERY mumble mumble IMVU mumble mumble FISH mumble mumble!

More Health Class, And Story

In health class today we enetered in the results from yesterdays food records. I got a 55 and the computer box said I was special. Most of the class got somewhere between 10 and 40 but I did better. My teacher kept on saying that lower scores were better but I know he was just trying to make the other kids feel better. Today In Language arts I started a story. Here's the first part.

Once upon a time, I had a hat. I named the hat Pat. The hat sat on a hill. I gave the hat a pill. I can't think of another part of the story. E equals MC squared is hat plus platipus...

My teacher gave me a D. That probably standed for... um... Dorsal... Fin... She kept on saying "this ain't math class Lukas" and, "now where did I put that cucumber." Over all I had a pretty good day. Thanks for visiting my blog. Yay for small typing!

The Wonders Of Health Class

We're stopping PE for a couple of weeks to do health class. We watched this educational video about a guy who loses his dentures. Then he trips and falls down some stairs. Then he does some kind of a dance... Later we found out our health teacher had accidentally put in his video diary on accident. Anyway, today we had to record everything we ate. Tomorrow we enter all the stuff in and find out if it's a healthy diet. I'm probably going to get a pretty high score, after I only ate a couple of see artichokes. Health class just teaches you everything you already know... "I don't know if any of you knew it but eating food is good for you" and the stuff that you wish you didn't know, "I don't know if any of you knew it but you are some of the fattest kids I've ever seen." After that Coach Bradley started mumbling about, "If only coach had put me in fourth courter..." I got a much more colorful vocabulary after some kid tripped and face planted Mrs. Hamberly's spikey shoe. I coudn't believe some of the words coming out of Mrs. Hamberly's mouth!

Just Another One

Hi, I'm back with another post. I can't wait until Fredward gets back from his vacation. Nobody else even talks to me... not my friends... or my teachers... or my parents... Anyway, school was pretty normal today. I arrive at school. I get hit by some kind of projectile (pencil, cat, teacher, ice cream truck.) I go to my first class. I go to my second class. My teacher locks me out of my third class. I climb the side of the building and go in through the windows. I get in trouble for not using the door like normal people. I go to my fourth class. I go to my fifth class. I get mistaken for a sixth grader and put on some kind of field trip or something. I get back just after lunch. And for the rest of the day I listen to people pronounce me name wrong... B-I-L-ogna... B-I-ke... Agatha. Anyway on my way home from school I got a phone call. Can you believe it. I guess paying for 7 months of service was well worth it. And now I know that my phone sort of works. Anyway I picked up and immediatley heard, "HELLO YOUNG LADY. THIS IS NOT A COMMERCIAL CALL. YOU COULD BE GETTING LOWER CREDIT RATES. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO PURCHASE LOWER CREDIT RATES. YOU WILL ONLY HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE THAT WE ARE CHARGING FOR LOWER CREDIT RATES. I AM VERY PLEASED THAT YOUR MOTHER IS..."
Then the call cut off and it was silence. That was the first call i've ever gotten. OH YEAH!

School and Soccer

School today was crazy. I was trying to look cool with my hot new hat, until one of the teachers told me to, "take that cheesecake" off my head! Then when I got home my Dad made me watch The Joy of Walruses. It turned out to be the kind of thing where they actually try to speak for the animal, "Jonny the Walrus is nice to his parents because he knows that they will send him to and orphanage if he is a bad walrus". Then I had soccer practice. The coach gave me twenty laps because I was goofing off with some friends. That's pretty sad considering, I don't really have any friends... or a coach... At school they anounced the talent show coming soon. I'm going to do an interprative dance with a kid from the pre-school. We totally picked out a popular song. "Groovy hits that we didn't just pull out of the 70's." In my opinion we have an easy win there.

I'm Back

I got back from my trip today! I went to Seattle to see my Uncle. Today was a half day at school so we played some games and basicly ran in circles. I also got asked out for the first time ever. You know the kid who thought I talked funny... yeah. The sad thing is, i'm not really amaizingly attractive so that's probably the only person who will being asking me all year. On the brighter side of things, My band Under the Edge practiced today. We're pretty good but our maraca player just quit. I play electric guitar, my friend Sam plays the bass, my friend Jonny plays the triangle, and my friend Gilderoy plays the didgeridoo. We rock! Also the kid who was Screeming about "my golden bladder" invited me over. I hate to say it but... I went. First we played baseball, or should I say he tried to through the ball without accindentaly hitting me in the face. Yeah...

Another Day at School

Okay, apparently being Garry wasn't all that I thought it would be. Before school, a couple of kids came up to me and started yelling about killing their grass... dont ask. Anyway, one of my teachers heard them calling me Garry and told everyone that my real name is Billy Lukas. Lunch didn't go much better. Once everyone found out I wasn't Garry no one would talk to me. Not even my friends. I ended up sitting with a couple of... very interesting people... at a table almost 20 feet away from the other kids. One of them wanted to be my friend because I talk funny. Another keeped on yelling about my golden bladder, and the other one gave me his "special cookie." My day didn't go very well, but at least I get to go on a trip tomorrow. Oh yeah, that reminds me, I won't be posting again until the 16th ... Sorry!

First Post

Hi I'm Billy Lukas. I just got my first computer so decided to make a blog. I'm not to good at typing yet but I'm improving. It only took 4 hours to type the last stuff! I'm going to try to post on every day except for the days which i don't post on. Now that that's done with I'll start my first post!

Today was the first day of school. This is my first year at River Park Middle School and my old school was small so I only know a few kids. Luckily I look like some kid who went here for sixth grade since everyone keeps calling me Garry and asking why I didn't move. I think I'm going to go ahead and be Garry for a couple of days so i get to know some people.

Wow, that took forever!